of birthdays and parties

yesterday was sofi's 3rd birthday. as usual we didn't have a big party. not that we're not big fans of kiddie parties, it's just that we think it's also to good to teach a child that parties are not every year.  it's not always that mommy and daddy will have money to host a children's party. though we don't really deprive her of a celebration.  last year and this year, we opted to just celebrate at home and celebrate it with her family.  last year ninang analyn happened to join us.  this year it's ninang madel and ninong lee's turn to join us  for her birthday.  the usual spag, cake, chicken lollipop and softdrinks are visible. mama added maja blanca.

people at the office were kidding me that i should have sent food last Friday in school so she can have a party with her classmates.  But Jaims said no.  Though we're short, we were able to prepare something yesterday.  I'm just feeling a little guilty now.  When I told her yesterdaythat the cook will make spag, she said no.  she said she'll eat it in school.  later in the afternoon she also said that she'll have a party in school.  I feel so sad.  I thought at this age it will still not matter to her but apparently it did.  And just to add pain, when i checked my FB, I saw the pictures of my officemate's daughter's 3rd bday party.  I'm so devastated.

Did i really let her down?

deloading administrators

i realized just now why there is a need to deload administrators; why most department coordinators in a basic ed setup do not have teaching assignments.

i was doing my lesson plan (LP) for a H2 class for the past few days now.  what takes me a day or two of LP creation when created from scratch is now eating up my entire week and hasn't molded yet into its perfect form.  I remember sending a copy of my LP draft to myself so i can work on it in school but I have only seen it a couple of times and edited it once.  I tried doing it yesterday but somehow something else is still lacking.  Creating the powerpoint is easy just as long as i have everything well laid.  the problem is I couldn't seem to fit the lesson in 60 minutes.  It has to spill next meeting but I'm not sure if the lesson will finish the entire 60 the following meeting.  I've revised the lesson, adding activities here and there but there's more to come.

Enter the dragon.  Since librarians have to teach library skills, the poor deparment chairperson has to check all their LPs before they use them in class.  In as much as i wanted to just leave the LPs and trust their abilities to create meaningful lessons, it just can't be.  It's my responsibility to help them assess the kind of activities they give to students.  In the end, it's not just them who gets blamed.  It's the entire department.  And I just can't risk its name.

shopping

shopping is addicting.  you go to a mall without anything in mind to buy, you go home with a bag or two.  in an instant, you'll realize you needed something from that place.  when i was a kid, i hated going to the mall.  i don't like that suffocating feeling of trying to find your way out. i also hated having to choose clothes. i remember my mom getting frustrated a lot of times because i don't want to choose my christmas clothes or i don't like to try on the black leather shoes they have in the stock.  I was the i-don't-care-if my-clothes-are-still-the-same-for-christmas type of person.

When I got older, and had my own money for buying my own stuff, the frustration came in when i couldn't find the size that would fit me.  Being in this body is quite difficult.  I'm always on the lookout for short but large size clothes but what hey have then was either short-small or long-large.  Soemtimes out of frustration I'd end up buying stuff i don't need or just eating for the sake of spending.  That's bad shopping.

At least nowadays, more shops are recognizing the mixture of short, large and trendy style.  But what's keeping me hook with shopping recently was all for my daughter's needs.  I'm stingy.  If it's for myself there's always the filtering factor of "do i need this?" or "is it important?".  And if there's even the slightest hint of aversion on my part, then it goes back to the rack.  But if it's Sofia's shirt, dress or bottoms then that's another story.  I still filter price but if functionality outweighs the price then why not.

Recently, I rushed to the mall because Sofi needed jogging pants to pair with her PE shirt.  Since it was a small department store, there was not much to see.  When I found a real jogging pants i bought it already.  Only to find out that there's another one in the Pooh collection which looks much better and costs much cheaper.  I took both without hesitation.

Awesome Moment #12

there's much to write about recently but i couldn't find time to blog about them. in days like this when you've had too much sleep in the afternoon, you find the perfect opportunity to blog only to realize you've forgot most of them.

Sofi wore her PE shirt and jogging pants today.  The sight of her in PE outfit is so cute. I saw her when they fetched me this afternoon and she haven't change to her home clothes.  Even if her shirt was smeared with chocolate and her face was all covered with brown stuff, she still looked like a baby pretending to be an adult.

But the most awesome thing for me today is realizing:

how much my daughter loves me

i was in crying in pain this afternoon.  I'm having my hyperacidity attack alongside a splitting, fast-beating headache.   Jaims left today but he reminded Sofi to take care of mommy.  Anyway I cued Mr. Bean in YouTube and for two hours Sofia did her best not to bother me.  I only remember her curling up to me after hearing a thunder roar.  When I started to talk she told me that Missy doesn't have battery anymore.  I plugged Missy and slept again.  When I woke up, I went to the washroom to vomit.  I was crying right after because the pain doesn't want to go away.  She went beside me and gave me a hug.  Afterwhich she asked me why i was asked crying.

That instant, I felt a hundred times better.

And then she opened her milkbox and found an old medicine, she said: "ay kaya, di mo kse nidri-drink yung medicine mo, uminom ka nga!"

awesome moment #11

ok, so i'm not being religious with my 365 AM's but i'm really trying. the past week had been very busy i hardly have time to even open Missy.  I'll just push through with my AMs when time permits.

Awesome Moment #11: watching a movie.

It's been years since I last entered a movie house.  In fact i don't even have an idea how much tickets cost now.  Two weeks ago, when I saw the trailer of Toy Story 3, I already asked Jaims to book June 19 for us.  It will mark 4 momentous events in our lives.

1. Sofi's first time to watch a movie
2. our first movie, after not having watch for three years
3. our first family movie date
4. early father's day celebration

Since Toy Story 3 opened this Thursday, the line was still long.  But SM Marikina opened 3 cinemas to show TS3 -- Cinema 1, Cinema 2 and Cinema 7.  One of the cinemas offer TS3 in 3D but we opted to have the regular show since I knew Sofi might not like the idea of wearing 3D glasses.  For a film that lasts for more than 60 minutes, Sofi didn't act up.  For the longest time, Jaims and I are not too keen on bringing her to the movies.  we are afraid that money might go to waste if  Sofi ended up getting scared or shocked or simply not in the mood.  When we got in there, Sofi was so happy she was actually watching the trailers.  And each time an opening credit shows up, Sofi keeps shouting, "ayan na, ayan na!" while trying to anticipate the beginning of TS3.

Just like any regular kid, she kept on asking silly questions, like:

• ba't madilim?
• ba't ka tatawa?
• ba't sila nagwa-watch?
• ba't mo nilagay yung water ko jan? (referring to the cinema seat cup holder)
• ano yan? (while looking at the light coming from thr projector)
• friend mo sya? (referring to the one seated near me)

Though on the latter part of the movie, I noticed her trying to get down from her seat, walking in the nearby seats and started to suck on her thumb.  I knew she's getting bored and sleepy.  But the thought of her lasting for an hour inside the movie house without having tantrums is something I can be proud of.  My little baby is getting bigger by the minute.  I need to treasure each and every minute of our days being together.

Awesome Moment #10

Parents' Orientation

Ever since I entered XS, I  have attended a number of Parents' Orientation and my lone participation to all of those was a mere subject.  You see, in a Parents' Orientation there are three types of people present.

1. The PRESENTOR - usually the school owner/director/highest school official.  He/She may be followed by the principal and those next in line.
2. The PARENTS - you can't have a parents' orientation without this important element.
3. The SUBJECT - Other than the school's VMG, the teachers and staff get a chance to experience limelight on this event.

This morning I have the chance of experiencing my first ever REAL Parents' Orientation as a PARENT.  We started of with a prayer, then we proceeded with the school's Vision-Mission-Goal, the usual stuff.  The disadvantage of working for a school and have attended a number of orientations is that you see the flaws of other schools.  I was telling Jaims I wanted to takeover and do some editing with their PPT, or maybe change the flow of the program.  But these are minor stuff that a non-OC might not see.

Sitting there as a parent and looking at the number of activities that Sofi and her classmates will do for this school year, there is a sinking feeling that I won't be a good mom.  I wanted to balance my career and my family time but given the many NEW things in my life I might end up being poor at one aspect.  But I'm being positive about this.  I know the Parents' Orientation is just the beginning of infinitely wonderful possibilities.

sick sick week

this has been a terrible week for my family as all of us are battling with common sickness -- colds, cough, fever, headaches, tummy ache and recently sore eyes.    Name it, and we got it.  For Jaims and I everything is tolerable but the sight of Sofi struggling, crying, ailing is one thing I can't bear.  She started with fever that lasted for several days, then on the latter part of her fever, colds manifested and a few days after, cough followed.  When she woke up this morning, she can't barely open her eyes.  Both her eyes were reddish but her left secretes a yellow substance. We were all supposed to attend the parents' orientation but given the situation and we don't want all the kids not to be able to attend their first day, Daddy's staying home with Sofi.

Sofi already lose a kilo since last weigh in.  This is not the typical Sofi. She's been sleeping the entire day and refusing milk intake.  I just hope she makes it in time for her first day.

Awesome Moment #9

I was asked to read one line from the Prayers of the Faithful part of our missioning mass this afternoon.  I thought that was cool, since not all has the chance to become a reader.  I think the last time I read a line for a mass was 5 years ago. But after the mass I receive an extremely Awesome News.

P5,000.00 SM gift checque for all those present during that mass.

Working for XS has really been a blessing since Day 1.  I know I'm pitted most of the time to hungry crocs but the way XS pays me back is incomparable.  Father Johnny has surprised us several times with extra something and giving something today is uber way out of what was expected. I love XS. I love Father Johnny.