For the nth time i woke up early morning feeling excited. I got the plastic bag that contained the item I particularly asked Jaims to buy for me. I slowly pulled out the box, went inside the CR, opened it and peeled the plastic inside it. I followed the instructions (very clear in my head without reading it) carefully. But alas, it broke my heart. I can't remember how many times i have done a pregnancy test. I have memorized the steps and the number of pink lines i should see depending on the result i wanted. But I never got two. The last two pink lines i've seen was almost four years ago. A lot of times I end up frustrated, feeling bad why we can't make another baby. Despite the stress free days we had, the result was still negative. We just feel like Sofi needs a younger sibling now but too bad we're not that successful.
When I got another negative result today I felt sad again. But it dawned on me that maybe God has other plans (as HE always do) for us. Maybe HE was saying, "you can't afford to send a kid to preschool and have another baby -- that means you'll have to ask me another favor, to give you an increase in pay,,,ano ka sinuswerte?! "
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